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Emotional Duty of a Leader: How a Leader's Personal Scenarios Become Toxic KPIs for the Team

Hello, hub!

As managers, we are used to thinking in terms of P&L, unit economics, and financial debt. But there is another, invisible debt that is not reflected in the reports, but often costs the company much more. I call it "emotional debt" — these are accumulated, unlived and unconscious feelings, scenarios and traumas of the leader himself.

This debt is never written off. His "interest" is paid daily by the entire team through deadlines, conflicts, burnout and staff turnover.

It is often said that the founder lays the "DNA" of the organization. It's true. His values and internal conflicts become a kind of "operating system" for the entire company.

But the story doesn't end there. The culture in the company is fractal: the patterns laid down at the top are somehow repeated below, but each leader creates his own "unique field" at his own level. A team leader or department head with his "emotional duty" can create a toxic microclimate in the healthiest company. Conversely, a strong, well—developed leader is able to build an island of psychological security even in a less than ideal corporate environment.

Therefore, this article is about everyone who manages people. In my practice, I constantly see how the personal unconscious of a manager becomes the shadow business strategy of his team.

Let's take a look at specific examples of how it works.

  • What's inside the manager: Deep distrust of the world. The attitude of "you can't trust anyone" or the narcissistic "only I'll do it perfectly." Every process that is let go feels like a loss of control and a threat of disaster.
  • How it becomes a toxic KPI:Breaking deadlines: All decisions are based on one person. It becomes a bottleneck that slows down the entire system.Burnout and departure of key employees: Talented and responsible specialists leave because their initiative is punishable, they are not trusted and are being stifled by micromanagement.Lack of team growth: Employees do not develop because they do not receive complex and responsible tasks. A team cannot grow more than the physical and mental capabilities of one person.
  • Breaking deadlines: All decisions are based on one person. It becomes a bottleneck that slows down the entire system.
  • Burnout and departure of key employees: Talented and responsible specialists leave because their initiative is punishable, they are not trusted and are being stifled by micromanagement.
  • Lack of team growth: Employees do not develop because they do not receive complex and responsible tasks. A team cannot grow more than the physical and mental capabilities of one person.
  • What's inside the manager: The chronic feeling of "I'm not good enough," "I'm just lucky." Any success seems to be an accident, and any failure is a natural exposure. To quell this fear, he must constantly prove his worth through over-effort.
  • How it becomes a toxic KPI:High staff turnover: The manager projects his unrealistic demands on the whole team. A culture is being created where 24/7 work is the norm, and any result is insufficient. The team burns out trying to earn the praise that the leader can't even give himself.Depreciation of achievements: Projects are being successfully completed, but instead of celebrating and recognizing achievements, a new, even more ambitious goal is immediately set. Motivation drops because the feeling of satisfaction from work is completely absent.
  • High staff turnover: The manager projects his unrealistic demands on the whole team. A culture is being created where 24/7 work is the norm, and any result is insufficient. The team burns out trying to earn the praise that the leader can't even give himself.
  • Depreciation of achievements: Projects are being successfully completed, but instead of celebrating and recognizing achievements, a new, even more ambitious goal is immediately set. Motivation drops because the feeling of satisfaction from work is completely absent.
  • What's inside the manager: An unconscious fear of depending on others and at the same time a great desire to create an ideal "family" that will never betray (unlike a real family from the past).
  • How it becomes a toxic KPI:Unprofessional solutions: Promotions and bonuses are given not to the most competent, but to the most "loyal" employees. Criticism is perceived as a personal betrayal.Toxic conflicts: The dismissal of an "old" employee turns into a Shakespearean drama, as unwritten "family" rules are violated, not business agreements.Stagnation of the team: The department is stuck in development because it cannot make complex but necessary personnel decisions, being constrained by informal "kinship" ties.
  • Unprofessional solutions: Promotions and bonuses are given not to the most competent, but to the most "loyal" employees. Criticism is perceived as a personal betrayal.
  • Toxic conflicts: The dismissal of an "old" employee turns into a Shakespearean drama, as unwritten "family" rules are violated, not business agreements.
  • Stagnation of the team: The department is stuck in development because it cannot make complex but necessary personnel decisions, being constrained by informal "kinship" ties.

Realizing the existence of this debt is already half the battle. But it is impossible to pay it off with the help of another management training or a new OKR system, because the root of the problem lies not in business processes, but in the personality of the leader.

The only real way is personal, deep psychotherapy of the leader himself. This is the most profitable investment you can make in your team and career. The ROI from this job is not just to reduce turnover, but to create a healthy, mature and effective team capable of achieving outstanding results.

At proEgo, we have created a safe and professional space for founders and executives at all levels who are ready to invest in their business's most important asset — their own psyche.

You can find your accredited psychologist on our platform.

Sergei Demeshko
proEgo - professional space for mental health